So what are the ten things I have learnt through my journey in 2010?

Lesson 1 – Life is so short! We argue, we fight, we disagree, we stop talking, we moan, we even cry for things that if the truth be told we really do not need. Looking back I feel I have wasted time on trivial things and have forgotten the Grace that has been given to me and to us for free.

Lesson 2 – Believing in ones self is so important because if you don’t believe in yourself how can anyone believe in you.

Lesson 3 – Its okay to have dreams and visions for they will keep you going

Lesson 4 – God will never disappoint you, men can fail you but His steadfast love never fails

Lesson 5 – I am beautifully made and if no one else sees that…tough! He made me in His image and for His pleasure and no one or thing can top that or take it away from me

Lesson 6 – I am going to have trials and tribulations and its not always because of what I have done it is just part of my walk

Lesson 7 – When you work as if you are working for the Lord, your manager or the job you hate doesn’t seem so bad.

Lesson 8 – There is power in positive thinking

Lesson 9 – I have learnt not to take life for granted. Having worked with Crisis this Christmas it has reminded me how blessed I truly am

Lesson 10 – Lastly I have leant that true love doesn’t care what surname you have or where you come from it is unconditional and beautiful and I had the chance to experience all this in 2010.

Thank you Lord for seeing me through to the end of another year and thanking you for keeping me to see a New Year

Happy 2011!

To set the scene December is round the corner and the year is fast coming to an end with most dreams still not in sight or on the horizon. It’s also the season of parties, dinners and family gatherings, a lot of laughter and if the truth be told a lot of tears. Apparently most women and I say most because I never did fall into this category have dreamt about falling in love and getting married. Am I making this up? I don’t know you tell me.

Most people have lived their lives hoping and waiting for this magical person to come into their lives and sweep them off their feet, to live happy ever after and maybe as a bonus have a couple of kids too. We are made in Gods image and because He loves, He designed us to want to love and to be loved. The problem – when this does not happen in the way we want or by a certain point in our lives we become sad, depressed and in some cases suicidal. Is love and marriage the ultimate happiness? I don’t know you tell me.

In 2009 – 232,990 marriages were registered in England and Wales

In 2009 – 132,361 divorces petitions were registered in England and Wales

In 2009 48% of women were killed by their spouses

Shocking? I know. So as much as we fantasies about falling in love and getting married thinking this will really make us happy it wont. Harsh, I know but it is what it is because we fall short of a scriptural understanding of marriage. Marriage is based on a mutual vow made to God. The myth of ‘a perfect marriage’ is widespread and dangerous. Love based solely on romance doesn’t work when ‘for better’ meets ‘for worse.’ Romance based on a decision to love ’till death us do part’ is the only love that’s dependable, consistent and trustworthy.

By setting up unrealistic expectations, impossible dreams and magic thinking, it misinforms, misleads and disillusions us, preparing us to walk away the moment our fantasy clashes with reality. So when our perfect prince or princess doesn’t come to sweep us off our feet when we had hoped DO NOT and I stress this 1) Sell yourself short 2) Settle for the first thing or anything that comes along 3) Get FAT!! Lets face it people love to comfort eat and trust me looking fat isn’t the way. So is this the end? I don’t know you tell me.

Don’t stop living and being happy. When you wanted that bike as a kid so badly you thought you would die if you didn’t get it and your parents still refused to buy it did you die? No, you just waited and bought it yourself. So wait…wait for love…wait on God. God offers us: ‘…beauty for ashes… the garment of praise [in exchange] for the spirit of heaviness so fill those days of emptiness by meeting up with friends, join a book club, do a course, go out…just be happy. Your time will come. Is that a promise? Yes it is…and I have just told you ©

The sunsets and my world is still.
As the glow fades my mind draws a blank
trying to remember why I stand
trying to remember why I pray
and as I’m engulfed in the darkness
that lies in the horizon I smile
for as the sunsets so it rises to a new day

What is a life worth these days? A cig, mobile phone, trainers, a cap or a jacket maybe? God gave us life and some bastards feel they have the right to just take it. No remorse, no conscious and no thought for the gaping hole that they have left in the families of their victims. A life to them means nothing.

We do not bury our children. Look around parents are burying their children, why? Why has death become so obsolete that it means nothing? Why do some people feel they have the right to take a life that was never theirs to take? What kind of world are we now living in that children walk around with knifes, sit, wait and pounce on their victim stabbing them over and over and over….and for what? Just because….!

Because of your careless actions a mother will wake without a son, because of your selfishness for human life a sister will wake without her brother, because of your disregard for human life a brother will wake without his brother

I asked my sister today what are we not doing? How are we going to stop what’s going on around us….her answer…PRAY!

Pray for our children

Pray for our youth

Pray for our Government

Pray for our families

Pray, pray, pray, pray, pray

A young boy was taken out of the arms of his loving family leaving a hole only God can fill please help me to pray.

 R.I.P Zac

I woke up this morning feeling empty

I woke up this morning feeling wow I have no job

I woke up this morning feeling I wish my dad were here

I woke up this morning feeling to hell with it all

I woke up this morning feeling what now Lord

I woke up this morning feeling what next

I woke up this morning feeling feeling feeling feeling

Then I read my ‘Word for today’ and it said God will take care of you.

“…Sometimes God calms the storm, other times He lets the storm rage and calms us. Either way, He sustains us and brings us through. We always have a choice: either we give the burden to God or we try to carry it ourselves. How does God provide for us? One day at a time. Remember the Israelites in the wilderness? Each day God fed them by sending manna from heaven. Notice how it worked. The number of people in your family determined the amount of manna you received, no more no less. And God will only allow you to collect enough for each day; if you tried to hoard more, it rotted. So trust God for today and leave tomorrow in His hands. ‘Give your burdens to the Lord, and he will take care of you’.

I woke up this morning and cried

There is no greater love than the Father, who knows all, sees all and takes care of us all

An awkward silence, a nervous smile and then we speak
His mouth moves, his eyes light up but still I hear nothing, as I am lost completely and deeply in his gaze.
I tilt to the left and his head moves too staring, smiling he continues to embrace me with his warm eyes

He can’t see you, my heart cries out
I must be dreaming
Wake up
Wake up
I close my eyes and open them wide…great now he probably thinks I’m high!

This sea continues to move
His words like waves washing over me
I can see his actually nervous…wait…his regained his composure
His now in control
Is he just being polite?
Is this guy for real?

Slow down girl, slow down
One…step…at…a…time
This is just the beginning
Lets just see how this story unfolds
Am back, staring into his eyes wondering, hoping, praying…he sees me

So enough of the waffle and lets get straight back to the question – what is the best book in the world?  The best book in the world has to be the ‘Bible’. Now I am not about to preach or insist that you go out and buy one but I am going to tell you why I think it is the best book in the world. Apart from the fact that it has sold over 2.5 billion copies, it’s an account of Gods actions in the world and it is absolutely amazing. The Bible was written over sixteen centuries ago and is the work of over forty authors. Its collection of 66 books contains a surprising variety of literary styles that is quite unique if I may say so myself, and it contains messages that God really wants us to have.

When reading it and I guess this goes for all the books I have read I find myself telepathically transported right into it. The bible tells of good and bad people, battles and journeys, tears and hope. It is written in narratives and dialogues, in proverbs and parables, in songs and allegories and in history and prophecy.  I can’t say I have read the whole bible yet but I intend too and because there are so many books to choose from it really does not matter where you start you will still enjoy every moment. 

So far the bible has truly been a lamp on to my feet and has guided me through some rough journeys and given me hope. It has shown me my purpose, my destiny and who I am. With every single trial, heartache and pain that I have been through, you can believe that someone in the bible has gone through the same thing and has come out unscathed reminding me that I am truly an over comer.

The bible is the best book in the world! Fact

I awake peering over my duvet of sublime heaven into this abyss of confusion swirling around in my mind. Stirring, stirring the mixture of reality twirling with the subconscious matter. I finally manoeuvre my legs to the wooden floor the cool feel brings me slowly back to the land of the living. A slight turn of the head sees the rumpled sheets bellowing me to return to my sanctuary of solace and shield from what lies ahead.

Lean on me you said, let my arms comfort you, you said, trust me you said.

Standing in front of the wardrobe looking at the rows and rows of clothes. If I step in would I come out of the other side? I guess this is no Alice in wonderland scenario. “I am a grown arse woman I can choose my own dam clothes!!”. Stepping outside in my blue pumps, brown skirt and lilac shirt hmm! Not quite what I had in mind. I shrug it’s all about the retro style right? so wrong!

Mirror check, CD check, seat belt check

As the car coughs into submission I remind myself again and again why I am going to this chasm of thorns called a job alas! I continue. To my left the same old houses to my right the same old shops behind me the grimace face of the transit van driver revving his engine in anticipation of mowing me down in cold blood.

“Morning, morning, morning, morning”. 

An off beat chorus of people high on caffeine plays havoc on my ears. How happy can these people be? We work in Lambeth hello!!

Lean on me you said, let my arms comfort you, you said, trust me you said.

Meeting after meeting, coffee after coffee I telepathically will the clock to fast-forward but sadly I am no Uri Geller. Oh no! Here comes my manager – what is it with managers that love the sound of their own voices? I give a slight nod; arch my eyebrows, a squint faking interest and holding back the urge to roll my eyes.

At last am home! Back to the silent patter of my feet walking from room to room. My unkempt bed beckons to me and I find myself falling back into my sublime heaven.

Leaning into my pillows drifting into your arms and trusting in my duvet as sleep so softly sweetly comes sailing in.

Reminiscencing with an old friend the other day brought back those windows of memories where as kids we were all huddled on the staircase peering through the banister at our parents dancing to the afro beats of Prince Nico Mbarga, famous for his renowned tune ‘Sweet Mother’. Now that song really does bring back memories and funny enough the song is still being played today at Nigerian parties all over the world. Then we had ‘Shinamania’ a term penned after Shina Peters who brought us a fusion of afro beats and fuji-style percussions. His songs to me mirrored the Pied Piper fable because as soon as you heard the drum beat, your body goes up and you’re on the dance floor.

Musing over these Nigerian artists cannot be admired without hailing the King of Afrobeat ‘Fela Ransome-Kuti’. He penned all time favourites like ‘Zombie’, ‘I.T.T’, (International thief, thief) ‘Original Sufferhead’ and ‘Shakara’ to mention a few. What I loved about him was that most, if not all of his songs were in pidgin (broken English). He didn’t sing to make money or to get fame. He sang because, like many, it brought him much happiness and it irritated-the-hell-out-of the then reigning Government. Considering some of the songs were jibes at them! Can you really fault a man for pointing out corruption, illegal entry, murder? Fela was real and he kept it real. His songs had meaning which further deepened my love and respect for him. Plus have you heard him play the sax? I am a sax girl and the sax has been known to arouse the outspoken enthusiasm of every music lover.

Wow! Times have really changed now we have the delights of P Square, 2Face, Timmaya, M.I and many more. Right now my favourite artist has to be Banky W (Bankole Wellington)…kai… this guy is gorgeous for one and his voice…amazing! His music tells a story and there is’nt one track from ‘Regret’ to ‘Till my dying days’ that we can’t relate too. According to Banky his music is about “making life and love work. It’s about screwing up. It’s about repentance and redemption. Its about finding peace. It’s about “wilding out”. Sometimes doing things you know you’re not supposed to do. It’s not just about getting there; it’s about the journey”. Here is one of my favourite tracks for you to enjoy….Banky W…I salute you!